Holiday With a Head Injury

I do most of my holiday rom-comming alone, as I understand that my tolerance for schmaltz is higher than average. I'm perfectly capable of laughing at my snarky jokes in a house by myself. But when I heard there was a new Lindsay Lohan Christmas movie, I knew this was a full-squad event. I needed to get my Christmas movie crew together with pizza delivery and a bottle of vodka to fully appreciate the ridiculous majesty of Falling for Christmas.

Sierra Belmont (Lindsay Lohan) is a hotel heiress whose father wants her to be the VP of Atmosphere, a job which would consist solely of being fabulous on daddy's dime. But Sierra is starting to chafe a bit against her jet-setting lifestyle and her influencer boyfriend Tad (George Young), who judges her outfits and won't let her sing Jingle Bell Rock in the car. Tad takes her to the top of a mountain for a grammable proposal moment, but a very small weather event sends them careening off in different directions since neither of them actually knows how to ski.

Sierra is found by Jake (Chord Overstreet), who runs a small inn that is being run out of business by her Sierra's father's luxury hotel. Despite falling down a mountain, she has no injuries, except for total memory loss. The police are basically like, "uh, can we investigate your disappearance after the holidays?" Sierra returns to Jake's hotel and the bosom of his pleasingly multi-racial family. Will there be hijinks involving Sierra's high-falutin' ways? Will there be a romantic moment in a quaint Christmas market? Will they save Jake's inn by Christmas? And most importantly, will Sierra learn the value of hard work and the simple life through the love of a down-to-earth man?

The answer to all the above is yes, which should be no surprise to anyone who has ever seen a holiday movie. This movie rests entirely on Millennial goodwill for Lindsay Lohan, who was chewed up and spit out by the Hollywood machine and has never been able to recreate the success of her early projects. And LiLo holds up under the weight of the project. Even when she's in bitchy heiress mode, there's a daffiness to Lohan that makes her seem gentle and vulnerable. The goofy sequences where she's learning to be a normal person are really fun, even though technically she's, ya know, a mentally ill person being exploited for slave labor. And her outfits are excellent, from couture to Christmas sweaters.

Chord Overstreet is, imo, a dud, but a dud with adorable swoopy hair who looks good in a scarf, so whatever. The rest of the cast is servicable, with the exception of a semi-magic Santa whose winks should put him on the FBI watch list. He's terrifyingly jolly, like he's got a sharpened candy cane that he'll use to jam Christmas spirit into you, whether you like it or not.

I had a great time watching this with my Christmas movie squad, which consists of my husband and my best friend. My husband had a lot of hot takes, including the assessment that Jake's charming family inn should be run out of business for the high crime of forcing guests to make their own eggs. My best friend stayed awake the whole time, which is the highest praise she can offer a film. For my part, I found myself really touched by the idea that most people are capable of way more than they think when they have a patient and kind teacher. This was exactly what I wanted it to be, and I'm ready to welcome Lindsay Lohan to the Holiday movie pantheon with open arms. She apparently has a 2023 rom-com in the works that will be set in Ireland, and I'm making popcorn already in anticipation.

What’s on your favorite scary santa? Let me know at lily@lilycahill.com!