Just Like a Christmas Movie: All I Want for Christmas is a CAT Scan


Just Like a Christmas Movie: All I Want for Christmas is a CAT Scan

To make a good parody, you have to love the genre. Previously, I covered Christmas with the Campbells, which can't decide whether it's a parody or a raunchy comedy, and A Hollywood Christmas, which is more of a meta commentary than an actual parody. Neither movie seems like it was made by people who unabashedly love Christmas rom-coms, who know the tropes inside and out and know just how to skewer them. Well, this year, Netflix served me up the parody I've been waiting for. Just Like a Christmas Movie was an absolute delight that totally understands what we love to hate about the genre.

Emily (Marlie Collins) is a high-powered executive who hates Christmas but loves money. She's on her way to vacation in Bali when her plane makes an emergency landing in Blue Spruce, Colorado, a charming small mountain town where a big storm has stymied all ground and air travel for the foreseeable future. Emily is furious about her predicament, until ACTUAL SANTA electrocutes her with Christmas lights, causing her first of several head injuries in this movie. When she wakes up, she's in a different world.

All the grays and blues have been replaced with green and red. There are decorations everywhere. She's wearing a festive sweater and a stylish coat, and her lank shoulder-length hair has become golden-blond tresses that spill down her back. The handsome doctor who looks at her head compliments her eyes and tells her about how his wife died and now it's just him and his daughter, but she's so special it's like she's his whole world. Everyone in town is so nice and also so worried about the annual Festivity Fest, the charming local festival that is being threatened by mean corporations. Can Emily help save the festival and get the guy before the end of the Christmas movie?

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This movie gets it. It leans into every goofy Christmas rom-com trope. There's one scene where the characters drink a series of increasingly absurd festive holiday drinks in Santa-themed glasses. Emily magically has a closet full of adorable wintery clothes, even though she was on her way to Bali. At one point she puts on a pair of Christmas pajamas (the only kind available in the house) and when she sees herself in the mirror, she says "I hate how good I look in this." It's true--she's really got the Hallmark movie glow. There's no toilet in the bathroom, but there are multiple huge poinsettia plants. In fact, there are decorations everywhere. It's as if the production team has taken the average Hallmark movie set and doubled it. All of this makes for a really fun visual experience that seems like it would reward a rewatch.

Emily's love interest is named Chris Kringle (Brad Harder), and I genuinely wasn't sure for a while whether he was supposed to be the MMC or the sassy gay friend. Harder is gay in real life (as are a number of Hallmark heroes), but he's probably a good enough actor to modulate his affect in a way that can skew more straight. I have to assume that this is part of the joke. These movies aren't interested in portraying men as they are; they are interested in portraying men as women wish they would be. As a person who is lucky enough to have a gay best friend, I would totally marry him. We like all the same shows! There's also a lesbian romance that is introduced very casually, which I enjoyed. It turns out that Hallmark movie tropes also work in same-sex relationships.

I also liked that Santa was portrayed as the diabolical Christmas wizard he should be. This Santa explicitly tells Emily that he's punishing her for not having enough Christmas spirit, and I like the idea that Santa is just a trickster god who spends the holiday season devising ways to enforce his rigid expectations of togetherness and joy. Just think, he could be waiting to electrocute you and give you a major head injury!

If you love these goofy holiday movies as much as I do, I suggest you add this to your rotation. There are lots of great jokes I didn't even mention, and the more you enjoy the genre the more you'll enjoy this parody.

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