My Secret Santa: This is How Santa Kinks Are Born
A couple of weeks ago, I met a guy who dresses up as Santa Claus. He also draws caricatures and deals poker--interesting guy. Anyway, he told me that Santas belong to a professional group called the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas that calls themselves "The Nation's Premier Fraternity of A-List Santas." I wonder what they would think about My Secret Santa, a movie with very questionable Santa professionalism.
Taylor Jacobsen (Alexandra Breckenridge) is a single mom who gets fired from her job making Christmas cookies just a few weeks before the holiday. Her daughter Zoey (Madison MacIsaac) is a great snowboarder, but Taylor can't afford to send her to the exclusive snowboarding camp at a local resort. However, when she discovers that the resort offers a 50% discount on tuition to the family of all employees, she's determined to get a job by any means necessary. But the only position available is the resort's full-time Santa. Cuz you know how all ski resorts have a Santa available 24/7? Taylor enlists her brother and his partner (sassy gay friend alert) to Mrs. Doubtfire her into a man who looks enough like Santa to get the gig.
Even though this resort has a full-time Santa, they apparently don't have a full-time HR department that might question why their new employee doesn't have an ID and gave his name as "um....Hugh...Mann." All would be well except for the resort owner's son, Matthew (Ryan Eggold), who has a crush on Taylor but is developing a full-on relationship with Hugh/Santa. You know how your job has a big locker room where everyone walks around in their towels? That's not what your job is like? Huh. Well, anyway, this job has a big locker room where everyone walks around in their towels, including Matthew, who casually goes full dick out in front of his new co-worker. He asks Hugh to tie his tie for him, which my husband assures me no adult man would ever ask of another adult man. And certainly not with lingering eye contact. I mean, look, their chemistry is electric.
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Even though Taylor might look like Santa on the outside, she's still a single mom at heart. When a kid asks Santa for a motorbike, she tells him it's too dangerous; when someone else asks for a fancy doll, she explains that parents can't afford expensive gifts. As you might expect, this sort of puts a damper on the magic of Christmas. So instead, Taylor pivots to running an unlicensed child therapy clinic where she counsels kids in public, like some sort of Santa-themed Oprah. At one point, she cures a stutter with song. You might think this would also be a bummer, but everyone in town loves it. The local news comes out to cover the resort's "superstar Santa Claus." Matthew tells the reporter that "the kids love Santa Claus, and honestly I do too." We know, Matthew. We know.
It all comes crashing down at a party where Taylor tries to be both herself and Santa, and fails miserably at both. She's outed by the resort's manager, Natasha (Tia Mowery), who is taking out her resentment that she didn't get Matthew's job. Did I mention that Matthew is also a nepo-baby whose daddy made him the GM of the resort despite his complete lack of experience and interest? They clearly forgot to resolve Natasha's plotline, so there's a bit of ADR at the end that tells you she was promoted to managing the London branch of this hotel. Cool for Natasha, I guess.
After the initial fun of becoming Santa, this movie really loses steam. The romance between Matthew and Santa is way more compelling than the one between Matthew and Taylor, and the story isn't fun enough to make me ignore the gaping plot holes. I like Alexandra Breckenridge from Virgin River, and this role is much more fun than her character in that show. However, she doesn't quite pull off the likeable scamp energy that is needed for this part. And Matthew's just a hot rich dummy whose daddy issues have taken an interesting turn. I wonder if he makes her wear the beard.
I wouldn't call this one a must-watch unless you really like skiing and/or Mrs. Doubtfire. It felt long at ninety minutes and didn't get as much juice out of the premise as it could have. It was fun, but not exactly a new classic.