Dance for Me, Twinkletoes

I love a man who can dance. Or maybe I just like Channing Tatum in Magic Mike? Either way, I find that watching men dance rides that perfect edge between sexy and hilarious. Female strippers can be depressing, but male strippers have this zesty absurdity that makes their dance routines sort of wholesome, even when they end up naked. To be clear, I'm pretty much talking about male strippers in movies. I've never actually seen a male revue, which seems like something I should remedy in 2025. Or maybe I should visit the small town in The Merry Gentlemen and catch a mid-afternoon strip show.

I was sort of underwhelmed by The Merry Gentlemen until the first dance sequence, at which point I wrote in my notes "This is everything I've ever wanted in a Christmas movie." A fun poppy Christmas song, AND naked men gyrating? 10/10, no notes. But as the movie went on and the guys were learning routine after routine, I started to question everything about Ashley's business model. I would think that a show like this would have three or four solid routines and some patter during costume changes, adding up to a show that runs about an hour. Instead, Ashley seems to have them learning a new routine for each performance, which then only lasts for five minutes. In fact, while I'm at it, I have some other marketing ideas. Like, wouldn't it make sense to have two shows a night, and encourage the audience to drink at the bar in between? I've thought of three names for salacious specialty cocktails already. Instead, their first show ends early enough for Ashley and Luke to get pizza and get a picture with a mall Santa. Are there late-night mall Santas? SHOULD there be late night mall Santas? I definitely would have paid good money to sit on Santa's lap at 1am in my party girl days. Ashley, I've just had another great marketing idea for your bar!

In addition to providing me with delightful dance sequences, this movie also reveals a mind-blowing twist in the Netfix Christmas Cinematic Universe. At one point, a depressed Ashley is at home watching The Christmas Prince. It's a nice little wink at the audience that tells us Ashley is Just Like You (TM). Later, when she's at her parents' bar, she's nostalgically looking at the framed newspaper clippings covering the wall. One of the clippings reveals that the couple from The Princess Switch inexplicably visited this small-town bar. But in The Princess Switch, it's implied that the royal families in the two movies are related to each other. So, if the couple in The Princess Switch are real, then that means the couple in the Christmas Prince are also real, so when Ashley is watching that movie, she's watching...a documentary? Someone get me some red ribbon, I've got a Christmas conspiracy to solve!

Could you watch this with your grandma? I'm gonna leave that up to you and your grandma. There is way more manchest than the average Christmas rom-com, but the love story is wholesome and chaste. What is your grandma's take on Chad Michael Murray? Personally I've disliked him since he was Tristan in season 1 of Gilmore Girls, but I'm willing to reconsider him now that he's a nice hot guy instead of a mean hot guy. Was he one of your childhood crushes? Let me know!