A Merry Scottish Christmas: Mom, I Will Not Be Mad if You Are a Secret Scottish Duchess

|Lily Cahill

Promotional poster showing Scott Wolf in a kilt suit and Lacey Chabert in a green tartan gown leaning on a snow-dusted stone balustrade decorated with evergreen garland against a snowy Scottish mountain backdrop.

The unexpected star of my 2024 Christmas binge? Lacey Chabert. I knew her as Gretchen Wieners from Mean Girls and the cute little girl on Party of Five, but I wasn't aware that she has slowly been building an empire over on the Hallmark Channel. After I finished Hot Frosty, Netflix suggested A Merry Scottish Christmas, also starring Chabert. I was so impressed with her ability to make completely implausible dialogue sound natural that I figured I'd check out more of her catalogue. Besides, I'm a sucker for a Scottish castle, so why not?

A tall Christmas tree wrapped in tartan ribbon sits surrounded by wrapped presents in a grand stone entryway, framed by two large blue urns, lion heraldic banners, and mounted animal taxidermy on the walls.

Lindsay (Chabert) is a California physician who has been summoned to spend Christmas with her family at a Scottish castle. Her brother Brad (Scott Wolf) is equally annoyed to be pulled away from his busy job, and he's arguing with his wife Sarah (Kellie Blaise). They arrive at the castle and get sucked up into the tour group by a bagpipe player who may or may not be some sort of leprechaun, even though leprechauns are from Ireland (same same). 

Lindsay and Brad's mother have big news she wants to tell them: she has hidden the fact that she's a hereditary Scottish duchess their entire lives. Surprise! Mom doesn't want to be the duchess, but she can give the job to her children no problem, so Lindsay and Brad just have to decide if they want to give up their hectic, empty lives and become Scottish nobility despite having been in the country less than 24 hours. And if they don't want the gig, the estate will be sold off, and the charming town nearby will probably collapse into poverty and despair. Whatever will they do?

Follow Lily Cahill on Letterboxd

Lindsay (Lacey Chabert) wearing a sparkling tiara and a dark green gown with a tartan skirt looks up affectionately at Brad (Scott Wolf), who wears a navy jacket with a tartan sash over his shoulder.

I will admit that when I saw the poster for this, I assumed that Lacey Chabert would be falling in love with her one-time costar Scott Wolf. Instead, she's falling for a charming Scottish Mac (James Robinson) who speaks only in pithy aphorisms like 

(puts on thick Scottish accent

"Sometimes in order to take a step forward, you have to take a step back." 

I kept thinking he looked familiar, and lo and behold, he's young William Wallace from Braveheart! All grown up! 

A split image showing a black-and-white photo of a young boy with messy hair hiding behind a tree on the left, next to a modern portrait photo of actor James Robinson in a white t-shirt on the right.

He and all the other Scots in this movie spend their time telling Lindsay and Brad that, in fact, they really like the aristocracy, and they totally support the system of monarchical control. And of course, it's totally fine that Lindsay and Brad are Americans! It's the blood that matters, not actually knowing the land and its people and history!

I'm no expert on Scottish history, but, uh, Braveheart probably wouldn't stand for this.

Brad and his wife are ready to strap on the family crest and commit to being royals, but Lindsay needs a little convincing. It comes in the form of ten minutes of Scottish history presentations, including a whiskey tasting and some Shetland ponies.

A man in a suit holding a whiskey bottle presents to three people standing around barrel tables, with each person holding tasting glasses of scotch in a rustic room decorated with holiday wreaths.

My opinion of Lacey Chabert has skyrocketed this Christmas season. She has really found her calling as a Hallmark heroine. She has this way of cocking her head when something truly ridiculous is happening that says, "I don't quite believe you, but there's no need to think too hard about it now." Netflix has been kind enough to furnish their platform with lots of her movies, so I'm sure I'll dig deeper into her catalog soon. 

A group of people dressed in formal Scottish attire, including men in navy blazers with tartan kilts and sporrans, and women in elegant dark gowns, standing together at a festive indoor event.

I also liked that this movie was kind of about how easy it is to lose touch with your siblings as adults, and that some relationships are worth putting in a little extra work. Could you watch this with your grandma? Absolutely. While you're at it, interrogate her about her past: maybe she'll reveal that she's a secret Scottish duchess, and you too can live out your castle-related dreams.

Do you think the Scots would welcome a bunch of Americans to own their castles and rule their people? Let me know!